English Paragraph 1
The colonalization of Nigeris has greatly changes the cultures in both "The lion and the jewel" andd "Things fall apart". When the Europeans came to Nigeria, they took over and changed their culture. They made churches and converted people so that a new religion was growing, and the old religion was diminishing. Also, Europeans changed they way that some of the people thought, they brought in schools, and brought technology. This may sound good and all, but it actually was ruining Nigeria. In my opinion, Nigeria would be just like the rest of us. Europeans were trying to "westernize" Nigeria, but then there wouldn't be any diversity. Why would anyone want to travel to different places, if we were all the same.
posted by R_Wyer @ 1:51 PM
1 Comments:
Good start Robin. You have arguments and you have thesis. I think you need to focus on refining the wording so that it sounds more confident, but that can some later at the revising stage. You do not have to use "I" in this essay. It is understood that these are your ideas. Could you rework your thesis to state something like "Soyinka and Achebe show the value of cultural diversity in their works" and then point out the ways in which they do that. I like your last sentence but it sounds like a personal essay rather than a formal essay. Look at the rubric. You will find that the expectation is that these essays must be very formal in tone.
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